The Weaponized Kiss
by Aquestra
Summary: [One Shot] Bulma and Vegeta have now been living together, yet barely tolerating each other, for a year. One night they find themselves alone and a seemingly innocent game of wits leads them down a path of no return...


Vegeta had been on earth exactly a year. One measly year, and yet it had felt like an eternity. This mudball planet was hell in the mortal realm and capsule corp was the seventh circle of it. Not a day went by where the prince was not harassed by either the cheery, dimwit harpy, scrutinized by the old scientist or haunted by the fact that he was still no where near ascending.

But the worst, the absolute worst, was her. The insolent woman who fought tooth and nail with him over absolutely everything. He was a prince dammit and she sure as hell did not treat him like one. As the prince approached the kitchen of the compound, a low growl rumbled in the pit of Vegeta's stomach at the mere thought of interacting with that hot-headed seductress, and he hopped she would not be present. Sure, she was certainly attractive, but that made her all the more dangerous. The low rumble in his stomach escalated as it made it's way to his lungs as he sensed her ki around the corner of the tall wall. He would not let her get the best of him, she was the enemy.

Vegeta rounded the corner into the marble-countered room. There sat Bulma lazily up on the counter with a glass of wine in one hand and that ridiculous blabbing device in the other, pressed to her ear.

"Urgh, gotta run Chi." She blared obnoxiously loud as Vegeta completely dismissed her and walked straight to the stainless steal fridge to grab the dinner the cheery harpy would have left prepared for him. Her obnoxious, know it all voice continued it's rant in a whisper, unaware his keen saiyan ear could pick up her every word. "His royal pain in the ass is here. I'll talk to you later."

The beep of the phone clicking off was simultaneous with the fridge slamming shut. Vegeta had ten plates of food stacked in his arms as he marched over to the giant, dark oak table in the far corner of the kitchen. The Prince could feel the woman's eyes on him, but chose to ignore her. Her did not want to engage in her childish pettiness this evening. Tonight mark a year of being here, one absolutely, completely unproductive, miserable year. And he wanted to be left alone with his misery.

"Hey Vegeta!" Came a cheery voice as he removed his battered white gloves and unwrapped the first of the plates from the plastic it was encased in. He could sense her marching across the room and plop herself down in the chair beside him, the glass of wine audibly swooshing in her hand. "How was training?"

"Hn." He said as he began digging into his first plate, not even bothering with the formality of cutlery. Vegeta was famished, and besides food always tastes better when you eat it from your hands. He also was secretly hoping his complete lack of that thing humans always insisted one using, manners, would scar the bratty woman away.

Unfortunately it didn't.

He heard a gulp from beside him and assumed she had taken another swig of that foul, sense impairing beverage. What a repulsive woman. Sure, he killed people, but she had so many vices it was hard to keep track. The woman was a complete nuisance. She was an enigma his mind constantly found it's way to trying to solve, distracting him from his ultimate goal of ascending. Which made her the enemy.

"I can't believe it's been a year." She whispered softly. At this phrase his head finally shot up from the plate of steak he had been hounding. The woman had been counting? He stared at her with his vicious onyx eyes only to be met with her blue calculating ones. She was leaning forward, chin in her hand and resting on her elbow. The position gave him a peak down her white tank top, barely allowing him to see the top of her lacy bra. Vegeta scowled. The woman had been know to use her... appearance against him before, and he knew exactly what that meant. The woman was plotting something. "Want a drink?"

"No." Vegeta said giving her one final cool glare before returning to his food, determine not to let her get under his skin.

"Suit yourself." Came her nonchalant reply. Her voice then became meek and shy, something absurdly unusual for the loud attention seeking whore. "Dad told me your thinking about leaving."

"So?" Vegeta snarled in between bites. He had planned on not saying anything at all, but that wretched power she had over him always drew wonders from his mouth. He hated her for it.

"Well." Her voice was still soft and tender. "Is there anything I can do to make you stay?"

Vegeta's head shot up. Why the hell did this woman always surround herself with him. She constantly wanted him around and he constant did everything to avoid her. She was everywhere, and when she physically wasn't she was in his thoughts. Vegeta could have sworn she was conducting some sort of weird, earthing witchcraft on him. They were both possessed and no matter how much they hated each other, she always wanted him near and Vegeta could never stop thinking about her.

"No," He growled menacingly. "It may have been a different story if your damn gravity chamber actually worked."

Vegeta mentally scolded himself knowing the hailstorm he had just unleashed. If there was one thing he knew to never to do unless he was prepared for war, it was to never ever insult the woman's work.

"EXCUSE ME?" She slammed down the wine glass and shot up so she was towering over him, spilling some of the bloody liquid onto the dark oak. "How dare you!? You think you can just waltz in here and..."

"Oh, would you shut up woman?" Vegeta groaned tilting his head back in exhaustion. All he had wanted was one peaceful day in this hell hole, with out any of them, with out her, interrupting. That's why he had stayed in the gravity chamber until two in the morning, in hopes of avoiding all of this.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP." She said whacking him on the shoulder, making Vegeta noticeably wince. He had been shot by on of the bots there earlier and the wound was still fresh and bloody underneath his clean change of clothes. "I came here to tell you how I feel and -"

Vegeta was groping his shoulder, the pressure of his hand on the wound causing the blood to soak through his navy spandex and onto his bare hand. Her pathetic hit hadn't hurt too badly, but it was enough to restart the bleeding. His eyes narrowed at her and he resisted every urge inside him to just blast her away right then.

"Oh shit." She bent down in front of him and tenderly put her hand on him, making him want to destroy her even more. But then again, there was something almost soothing about it making Vegeta hate her even more for exposing a weakness in him. "Are you okay?

"I'm fine woman." He shrugged her hand off him. "Let me be."

She stood up and pouted with her hands on her hips, her perfect figure taunting him. She was beautiful. Vegeta smirked as he fantasized about blasting her into oblivion, killing such a pristine creature would be an amazing release. But no matter how much he tried to fight against her, he could never bring himself to hurt her. She had a power over him, and he hated her for it. With a wink the seductress continued in a sarcastic tone, almost mimicking those stupid baby voices the blond harpy made. "You sure you don't want me to kiss it better?"

Vegeta blinked and stared at her blankly, wondering if that was some sort of threat. "What the fuck is that?"

"Geez Vegeta, its just an expression you need to calm the fuck dow -"

"No that you idiotic woman." Her scowled up at her. "A kiss, what the hell is a goddamn kiss?"

"You're kidding right?" Her face flashed with astonishment as he slender arms dropped to her sides. "You can't be serious."

"I am perfectly serious I ensure you." He said crossing his arms over his chest, still applying pressure to his shoulder wound with one of his hands. This kiss, whatever it was, intrigued him. The way his questioned seemed to fluster her, and bring red to her cheeks clearly meant this kiss was a weakness of hers. And maybe, just maybe, it was a weapon he could use against her.

"Vegeta have you, you know..." She asked clumsily, he revelled in her nervousness. He had barely seen her like this, which meant only one thing... he was winning. "...been with a woman."

"Yes." Vegeta let out a dark chuckle. A woman? Was she serious. He had lay with so many he lost track long ago. Bedding woman was one of the very few pluses that came with working in the planet trade organization. Whether it was willingly or by force, he had had plenty. A gruesome scowl crossed his face. It had been over a year since his last lay, and again he was reminded of how much of a hell hole earth really was. Never would he disgrace his heritage by sleeping with one of these gruesome, weak creatures.

"And you don't know what a kiss is?" She crossed her arms and her beautiful blue orbs flashed with confusion as the wicked woman interrupted his train of self-pitying thoughts.

"No." He growled bluntly.

"Space is fucked up." She mumbled lowly, clearly not wanting him to hear.

He was silent, but simply cocked an eyebrow at the impossible woman.

"Well I guess." She fell back into her chair and took a swig of her wine, but continued to glare at him with those calculating blue orbs. She settled down the glass and swirled it from the base with two fingers, studying the turning liquid and adverting her eyes from him. "It's when two people brush their lips together..."

"Why would anyone do that? Lips are for eating." Vegeta observed her for any sign of depict. The woman was manipulative and he wouldn't put it past her to invent a fake weapon just to put him behind in their battle. But their was no sign of trickery behind he crystal eyes, so he allowed her to continue.

"It's a sign of affection." The blue-haired heiress said sassily as she played with her hands in her lap, drawing Vegeta's attention to her short, denim shorts that exposed her gorgeous long legs. His mind was consumed by her again. And his hate for the woman grew.

"Humans and their stupid customs." He scoffed.

"Well." She was nervous, completely avoiding eye contact. Vegeta suppressed a smirk. This kiss would be the perfect weapon. "I mean I guess... I guess I could..."

"Spit it out woman." Vegeta said as he dangled a piece of steak into his mouth.

"I could show you." Her eyes shot up and blazed into his own. The prince studied them. They were filled with passion and lust. This kiss was not just the perfect weapon to use against her, it was the ultimate one.

"Fine." Vegeta said, putting on a cool poker face.

"I figured you'd say no -" She started, sinking back into her chair. "WHAT?"

"Do it." Vegeta said smirking at the heiress. "Show me this infamous kiss."

Her face erupted into a blissful smile, one that was so happy it made Vegeta want to tear her face off. She pulled her chair in closer to his, so that their knees were barely touching. He watched as she leaned in, and he mimicked her until their faces were but inches away.

"You sure?" She whispered softly.

"Woman I am damn well sure -"

"You sure you'll be able to keep up?" The blue haired wench finished with a devious smirk, the conniving one Vegeta had seen way too often over the past year.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He just needed to learn this goddamn technique already so he could use it as a weapon against her. "Just get it over with before I decide to destroy you."

"Always the tough guy." She huffed, her blue eyes bearing into his dark shields playfully. "Alright, now close your eyes."

Vegeta scowled, and as much as he hated going in blind, he reluctantly obliged his enemies request. Suddenly he felt her soft hand rest on his shoulder, and the other on the back of his neck. Her touch strangely unnerved him, and he could feel all his muscles relax. She pulled him closer until he could feel her breath right on his face, her gentle aroma engulfing him. And then slowly, and torturously, she brought her plump, soft lips pressing down on his own. A sensation of pure ecstasy overwhelmed him. Something he had never felt before and he began pressing back, melting into her kiss. He was losing to the earthling.

The weapon, as it turned out, was not the instrument of Bulma's defeat. It did not bring about her downfall, it brought about his own. That night he lay with her for the first time.

And the next morning, in shame, regret, and defeat, Prince Vegeta left for space.


End file.
